Digital Readout No. 3: Store in a Cool Dark Place (2003)

Click here to play the entire show uninterrupted. For individual scenes, select from below. Clicking "Listen" will play the scene without showing you the script. Clicking "Read" will take you to the script, where you also will have the option to listen.

1. It's not in the bag 2:36 Listen Read
2. Coursing one's plot 8:13 Listen Read
3. Ask and we shall deceive 1:12 Listen Read
4. Getting past the screener 1:20 Listen Read
5. Not so wide a berth 2:36 Listen Read
6. Rooms with views 2:53 Listen Read
7. You'll be tested on this 4:17 Listen Read
8. I know something I won't tell 1:35 Listen Read
9. Not while I'm eating 1:32 Listen Read
10. Settle, settle 2:37 Listen Read
11. Unsold pilot 7:31 Listen Read
12. Paris match 2:09 Listen Read



Ferry crew member
Chief of police
Boarding pass taker
James Stewart

7 reporters
2 cops
"Thank you for riding"

1. Itís not in the bag


  1. (Introduction by Alan Watts)
  2. ("Mr. Hulotís Holiday" opening)
  3. (Packing)
  4. Honey, hurry up or weíll miss the ferry.
  5. Iím just double-checking, making sure I have everything. Thereís bound to be something Iím forgetting.
  6. Well, of course, there always is. Every time we go somewhere, thereís always one thing that gets left behind. Donít worry about it. If itís something we need, weíll just buy a new one while weíre there.
  7. Yeah, OK. Whatever it is, Iím not going to be able to think of it now. Thatís how it works. We can go.
  8. (Zipping up bag)

2. Coursing oneís plot


  1. (Waiting in ferry line)
  2. We just made it. We should be able to get on this boat.
  3. Oh, yeah.
  4. I know because I can see the top of the broken flagpole from here. Thatís how you can tell. If youíre close enough to the boat that you can see that half a flagpole, you know youíll be able to get on.
  5. What happens if they fix the flagpole someday?
  6. If who fixes it?
  7. UhÖ
  8. Oh, look, the boatís unloading.
  9. (Loading film)
  10. What is that man doing in the car in front of us?
  11. Well, he wouldnít be doing it in our car, would he?
  12. But what is he doing?
  13. How should I know?
  14. (Western Sky)
  15. I thought this camera already had film in it. Iím going to want to get a shot of the dock after I pull onto the boat. Another empty film canister. Do I need it for anything? I should put this little thing in it, Iím sure to lose it otherwise. (Dropping object into canister and closing) Oop, boatís loading. (Hastily setting aside camera bag)
  16. (Driving onto ferry)
  17. Do we have tickets to get on the boat coming back?
  18. Yes.
  19. I was hoping that would be the one thing I forgot, so then I would know and wouldnít have to think about it anymore.
  20. You wonít know what it is until after we get there.
  21. (Pursuit)
  22. (Touch tone dialing)
  23. Yes, can you hear me? Good. Iím standing here on the ferry, at the bottom of the stairwell, watching the motorcars pull on. Weíll see who gets out of their car. I hope this hunch of yours pans out, as it were.
  24. (Parking on ferry)
  25. Of course theyíre making me park on the side with the sun blazing down on us.
  26. I donít mind it.
  27. (Getting out of car)
  28. I see someone getting out of his car now. Heís carrying a camera and a camera bag.
  29. (Camera motor)
  30. Of course, someone somewhere is going to want to know every conceivable piece of info about this shot Ė the exact date and time, what boat I was on, or whatever the one thing is that I didnít write down. Iíve got a notebook in here somewhereÖ (Rifling)
  31. (Canister dropped)
  32. ("Fear")
  33. Here it is.
  34. A film canister has dropped from his bag. Now heís writing something down.
  35. You have to write a book just to describe one stupid picture, and itís never enoughÖ(Walking away) not that this will be stupidÖ
  36. Heís walking away, paying no attention to the dropped canister. Yes, this looks very suspicious.
  37. I canít stay here, Iím going to go up on deck and stroll around. You want anything from up there? Some coffee?
  38. Iíll have a double tall Mega-Twitcher, if they have it.
  39. They have it.
  40. (Repeat of 27, Getting out of car)
  41. AhhÖI never tire of this view. So peaceful and relaxingÖ
  42. (Boat whistle)
  43. I need to go get that coffee. Knowing me, Iíll forget all about it.
  44. (Kicking canister)
  45. What is that, a can of film? (Opening canister) This looks important, whatever it is. Better go turn it in.
  46. Another one has come by and picked up the canister. Heís headed upstairs. Iím just letting him go up there. Maybe itíll lead to something. No, he doesnít know Iím here.
  47. (Upstairs)
  48. Excuse meÖ
  49. Yeah?
  50. I found this on the outside deck. It looks like something the person might want. Maybe you should make an announcement.
  51. What is it?
  52. I donít know, maybe you can tell me. (Opening canister)
  53. OhÖoh, yeah, uh, someone saw that happen and talked to the person already. Said they didnít care and asked would we please just throw it away if we found it.
  54. Are you sure? It looks sort of, well, technical.
  55. If you want to give it to me, Iíll toss it for you.
  56. No, if itís all the same to you, I think Iíll hang onto it. Iím just curious to know what it is. Maybe one of our friends will know. You donít know, do you?
  57. Me? Nah. Are you coming back today on this same boat?
  58. No, weíre on our way to catch a train.
  59. I see. So, are we through here?
  60. Yeah, thanks.
  61. (Buttons on bridge)
  62. Itís me. Yeah, he was just here. No, it was him all right. He gave all the right answers. He knew the entire code. Everythingís going according to plan. Iíll let you know when he gets back to me.
  63. (Gate rattle)
  64. (Repeat of 29, Camera motor)
  65. Ah, sea water. Always looks different, and yet somehow boringly the same. Letís see, what are our GPS coordinates?
  66. (Bridge scanner)
  67. Write that downÖ (Writing) This thing sure is handy. Iíll need it when Iím on the train, too.
  68. (Ferry arriving)
  69. (Repeat of 27, Getting in car)
  70. Coffee is here.
  71. Oh, wonderful. Didnít you get anything for yourself?
  72. Well, I got this.
  73. What is that?
  74. (Opening canister) I donít know. I found it on the deck, but when I tried to turn it in, they said they would only throw it away, so I thought Iíd just carry it around for a while.
  75. Can I see it? Is it something electronic?
  76. I donít know. I thought maybe I could stump the people at work with it, they think they know everything.
  77. OK, whatever you want. As long as it isnít any trouble.
  78. (120-07A_263K, Dub Syndicate)
  79. You know where weíre going, right?
  80. Oh, yes, I have a mnemonic that will get you all the way there.
  81. A mnemonic.
  82. Yes.
  83. A memory aid.
  84. Thatís right. You just think of "Cow, Ph.D. strange mix."
  85. Howís that again?
  86. Itís an imaginary newspaper headline about a cow with a university degree. "Cow comma Ph.D. strange mix."
  87. "Cow, Ph.D. strange mix." All right, that makes sense, I guess.
  88. You just think of that, and each letter tells you exactly where you are.
  89. Does it now.
  90. So when we first get off the boat, youíll be thinking of the first word, C-O-W. Now C is the speed of light, so youíll keep going until the first light, and that light is always red when youíre coming off the boat, so youíll stop, which is O or zero.
  91. OK.
  92. No, just O. Then W, and youíll see a bush to your right, so you know you need to get into the right lane.
  93. So to do all this so far, I need to think of a cow.
  94. Yes.
  95. Does it have to be like a cow on a farm, or can it be any animal thatís a cow? Like, can I think of a cow moose?
  96. What for?
  97. I dunno, I just like moose better.
  98. Well, I suppose if you want to, but I donít know why you want to make it complicated. Thereís nothing you need to remember that you need the moose part for.
  99. How about I put you in charge of the radio, and while the cow part is going on you can be finding us some moosic.
  100. Fine, Iíll do that. Now, the next three letters are P-H-D. P stands for pint, so you continue on past that bar we went to once.
  101. Uh-huh.
  102. And H, thatís Planckís constant, which has 6 as its first nonzero digitÖ
  103. Of courseÖ
  104. So you turn onto 6th Street and go about 500 feet, thatís D.
  105. OK, so now what does "strange" tell us?
  106. Yes, strange. S stands for second, so after those 500 feet you continue one more secondÖ
  107. Iíll check my watch.
  108. And T, thatís ton, so you turn where you see the Elephant Car Wash. Now the next three letters, R-A-N, tell you to look for the street address 886.
  109. How do you get that from letters?
  110. Well, R is the gas constant, that starts with 8; A is angstrom unit, thatís 10 to the minus 8th centimeter, so thatís another 8; and then N, thatís Avogadroís number, which starts with 6, so youíre looking for the building with 886 on it. R-A-N means 886.
  111. Either that, or it means I ran off the road trying to remember that.
  112. Oh, honey, donít you see? Itís simple. Now, hereís where you turn onto the freeway. Thatís G, the unit of acceleration. You get off at Exit 2, thatís the logarithmic base, or E.
  113. So thatís all strange.
  114. Yes, and now weíre up to the last word, "mix." M is the speed of sound, so at the end of the off-ramp you turn west, toward the water. I is the imaginary unit; youíll pass a construction site for the light rail project.
  115. And now, donít tell me. X marks the spot, right? Weíll then be at the train station?
  116. No, X is the unknown. I donít know where we go from there. Weíll have to ask someone.
  117. Oh.
  118. Weíll be almost there, though. We might even be able to see it.
  119. All right, fine. I think I got all that. Now, going back to the beginning for a second. When we first pull off the boat and reach the end of the dock, do we turn right or left?
  120. I donít remember.
  121. Well, I do, we go left. I know thatís what we did the night we went to the bar.
  122. Oh, all right, but that doesnít seem like much of a system, just remembering things.
  123. No, no, we can still make this work.

3. Ask and we shall deceive


  1. (Crowd)
  2. We go now to where the chief of police has called an emergency press conference.
  3. (Camera sequence)
  4. Yes. Yes, thatís correct. At least, we think so. Thatís our understanding of the situation right now. One of them deposited the container on the upper deck, and the other came along right after him and picked it up. Based on what we know from previous cases, we believe the transaction was carefully orchestrated by an outside group and that the two men have never actually met each other.
  5. Sir, what boat did this happen on, sir?
  6. It was on the Cluck-Cluck, on its most recent eastbound sailing.
  7. Do you have a suspect?
  8. Better yet, we have pictures. One of our plainclothes officers actually witnessed the illicit transaction and caught it on film.
  9. Uh, chiefÖ
  10. What?
  11. We didnít shoot any pictures of it.
  12. What! Why not?
  13. There wasnít enough copy space, chief.
  14. Idiot! They can just Photoshop that in nowadays. Well, anyway, we have a full description and weíre on the case right now. We donít think either of them will get far.
  15. Can the public do anything to help?
  16. Just be aware that this is in no way a reflection on the safety of our ferry system. All routes are still in operation and will get you at least halfway across. Thatís all I have to say.
  17. Sir, how do you feel right now?
  18. No more questions.
  19. Can you validate my parking, chief?
  20. Chief, whatís the capital of Venezuela?
  21. Sir, are you an idiot, sir?

4. Getting past the screener


  1. (HMS Uncrushable)
  2. (Troops marching)
  3. Man, I hope Iíll be able to make it through all this heightened security. And this is just to get on a train.
  4. Things have changed a bit since we last did this.
  5. Thatís OK, itís not too much trouble to me. Hereís your boarding pass.
  6. Whatever they do, it canít take any longer than last time.
  7. Please, let there be someone whoís seen camera equipment before.
  8. May I see your boarding pass?
  9. Yeah, itísó
  10. Whup! Just point to the pocket itís in, please. Thank you.
  11. (Communicator beeps)
  12. What is this?
  13. What do you think it is? Itís a camera.
  14. Just want to make sure that you know what it is. Would you point it at yourself and click the shutter, please?
  15. But itís loaded Ė I, I mean it has film in itó
  16. Uh-huh. Well, weíre sorry about that, but we have to be sure. Face that way, please.
  17. You wonít like the caption Iím going to give this one.
  18. (Camera shutter)
  19. That goes without saying.
  20. (Tearing perforation)
  21. All right, youíre fine, enjoy your trip.
  22. Feeling better alreadyÖ
  23. Hello.
  24. Good afternoon. Youíre together?
  25. So far.
  26. (Repeat of 20, Tearing perforation)
  27. Enjoy your trip.
  28. Hey, whatís not to enjoyÖ
  29. May I see your Ė
  30. (Repeat of 02-021, Pursuit)
  31. Here you are.
  32. (Repeat of 20, Tearing perforation)
  33. Thank you.
  34. Glad I could make it on.
  35. Iíll bet.

5. Not so wide a berth


  1. (TDK-12_432K, Su Tissue)
  2. (Train interior)
  3. Iím glad this wonít be an overnight trip. I donít think I could sleep.
  4. Iím just going to sit here by the window and read my book for a while. Iím tired of talking in this voice. You donít mind, do you?
  5. No, I think Iíll go stroll up and down the length of the train a bit, see if thereís anything I can bring back here.
  6. OK.
  7. Whew. Donít quite have my train legs yet.
  8. (Walking and jingling)
  9. Iíve still got that thing in my pocket. (Opening canister) I swear itís gotten bigger. And yet it looks like itís supposed to go inside something else. Weird. Oop!
  10. No, no, quite all right, Iíll be the one to back up. Less distance to that end of the corridor.
  11. Thanks. Not that I couldnít use the exercise.
  12. Yes, well, so much more pleasant to get that at the park where weíre going to than here, I should think.
  13. As soon as we get to the park, I plan on going right to sleep.
  14. Thereís an idea. I suppose I should ask you something, since youíre here. I just noticed something missing, and Iím retracing my steps to see if I lost it down this way. You wouldnít by any chance have happened to spot a plastic film canister on the floor, would you?
  15. Oh, so youíre the one who lost it. You know, that happened way back on the ferry. Thatís where I found it.
  16. Really. Yes, I suppose it has been that long since I looked for it, I could very well have lost it back there.
  17. In fact, I even held onto it. I have it right Ė wait, first I probably should get some answers from you.
  18. Oh?
  19. You know, I actually tried to get this returned to you as soon as I found it, but the ferry crew told me you had specifically said to them that you didnít want it and would they please just throw it away for you.
  20. They said that, did they?
  21. And yet now youíre telling me that you just now became aware you lost it.
  22. Indeed I am, which is why itís quite the coincidence you should come along. Iím afraid I canít explain anything the ferry crew might have told you. Perhaps they just didnít want to be bothered. Is there any reason you should be reluctant to return it to me?
  23. No, not really, except the only reason I have it at all is that I was trying to figure out what it was. Could you describe it?
  24. Well, itís sort of a Ė
  25. Oh, pardon me. Just passing through.
  26. (Enterprise door)
  27. Sorry, guess this isnít the best place for us to be Ė now where did he go?
  28. Where did who go?
  29. Hm? Oh, itís nothing, I guess. Can you squeeze past me?
  30. No problem.
  31. (Repeat of 26, Enterprise door)
  32. Now what am I thinking? I meant to go that way, too. Why didnít I just Ė
  33. Who are you talking to, honey?
  34. Oh!
  35. I could hear you from inside the cabin.
  36. Well, for a minute I thought Iíd found someone who could tell me what this thing is, but he seems to have disappeared.
  37. Oh, I see. Well, maybe youíll run into him later.
  38. I couldnít really tell if that was something I wanted to do or not.
  39. (Train whistle)

6. Rooms with views


  1. (Hulot music)
  2. Thank you for riding. Enjoy your stay.
  3. (Mix of all 3 characters and others saying "Thank you," "Goodbye," etc.)
  4. Iím reserved for two nights? I see you got my name written there.
  5. (Key dropped on desk)
  6. Ah, my favorite number. Thanks.
  7. (Open door)
  8. (Throwing luggage on bed)
  9. All right! Now the fun starts. (Plopping down in chair) Of course, it wonít feel like fun while Iím here. (Sigh of relaxation) I should get a few shots of the lobby while theyíve still got that forest fire reenactment going on.
  10. (Taking out items)
  11. Still plenty of filmÖextra pensÖpagerÖ (Searching) Where is that thing? Did I ever put it in this bag? (Patting self down) Not in my pocketÖ When did I see it last? Donít think Iíve seen it since I put it in the canister. What do you want to bet itís under my car seat, back at the train station. Now this is going to be driving me crazy the whole time Iím here. I canít think about this now.
  12. (Close door)
  13. (Repeat of 02-021, Pursuit)
  14. (Repeat of 7, Open door)
  15. (Repeat of 02-022, Dialing phone)
  16. Can you hear me? Good. Iím in room 12 at Generica Park. Oh, yes, Iíve seen him. In fact, I came very close to completing the entire transaction and being on my way back, but wouldnít you know, the other one also showed up. Yes, both of them. Well, I suppose I panicked a little. I got right out of there. You see, if weíd continued our conversation with the other one standing there, I would have been found out for sure. The one acted rather dopey, actually. I would have expected him to let on more than he did. I know, but whatís done is done. Iíll just have to keep watching and listening.
  17. (Repeat of 7, Open door)
  18. (Plopping down) Whew. Are we having fun yet?
  19. Moderately.
  20. I just want to relax here for a while. Maybe we can stroll around the museum a little later.
  21. (Hanging up clothes in distance) Sure. Can you figure out how to turn on the TV?
  22. You mean like this?
  23. (TV turned on)
  24. (Sleep Country commercial)
  25. That doesnít bother you, does it?
  26. Makes no difference to me. (Opening canister) I came so close to finding out what this thing was! I canít stand it.
  27. Oh, put that out of your mind, will you? You know, I think you really need that museum trip.
  28. Maybe. I really donít want to carry around this grungy old plastic canister. (Transferring to pill box) Iíll just put this thing in my pill box.

7. Youíll be tested on this


  1. (60-02_365K, Bill Nelson)
  2. What is that?
  3. Letís find out. Push the button.
  4. (Zabork)
  5. The geology of Generica Park reflects most of the planetís known history. Many of the rock strata are exposed, providing not only a rich visual panorama but an almost complete timeline of all the geological ages. Itís like my Day Planner, thatís how big it is.
  6. Amazing, isnít it?
  7. Whatever this is, I need to get a picture of it.
  8. (Repeat of 02-029, Camera motor)
  9. Of course, some wiseacre is going to expect me to tell them what this is. Whatís this button do?
  10. (Repeat of 4, Zabork)
  11. Four hundred thousand years ago, a series of cataclysmic events significantly altered the topography of the Northwest Quadrant. At least eight major volcanic eruptions are known to have occurred, possibly all within just a few hundred years, and several meteorites have been found, and there was glacial action and all that stuff. So much ash and moraine was scattered that to this day, geologists refer to the area indicated by the arrow as the Great Trash Heap.
  12. (Door chimes)
  13. Hey, thatís my house!
  14. ("Where the search begins")
  15. Honey, the film is just now starting again. Letís see if we can make this showing.
  16. All right.
  17. ("Fyt" -- Theater effect is 3KHz lowpass, 0.005/50 echo, no reverb)
  18. (Softly) Are these seats OK?
  19. Sure.
  20. At the beginning of the 18th century, the area known today as the Grablands remained virtually unexplored by anyone worth knowing. What little was known of its rocky peaks and rugged chasms painted a picture too unhospitable for any but the most famous dead white guys. Then, in 1742, the Italian explorer Massimo Minimidi, in a letter sent to the Siena Sentinel, declared his intention to be the first person to venture into the area who didnít already live there.
  21. [Chico:] Iím looking for a job. I know what Iíll do. It come to me like a flash. I climb the highest mountain, down and up, up and down. I bring my own flashlight. Thatís a lotsa fun, huh? Watch my smoke!
  22. Minimidiís claims were heard and he and his crew set out later that year under the patronage of King Philip V of Spain.
  23. [C:] Hail and farewell! Weíve got a backer! Weíve got a backer! Weíve got a backer!
  24. The expedition began its long journey departing from Outpost #13 and continuing past the Pleasure Garden. For months, the crew trudged along what today is the I-5 corridor without much progress.
  25. [C:] You know, there must be an easier way of killing yourself. All we need is scenery.
  26. Their only discovery during these early months consisted of a rock fragment with a form of picture writing on it. Although all that remained was a partial inscription, it is today believed to have originated from the Dummish tribe. Attempts to decipher the content of the writing remain inconclusive to this day.
  27. [C:] Maybe we could sell it to some medical student.
  28. Finally on the last day of September, history was made. The expedition reached the southern end of Safin Sound. Probably no one alive at the time had ever set foot upon this wonderment of nature. As far as the eye could see, there were maybe only one or two beer cans. Minimidiís log book records the first known description ever made by a Western observer.
  29. [C:] This is the first I hear about this. Oh, boy, thatís great. Oh, atísa beautiful! Yessirree, itís wonderful. Terrific! Itísa magnifico. Ah, signorinaÖ
  30. After a few minutes, the expedition continued up the east coast of the sound, toward what now is Renton.
  31. [C:] Itís a little skimpy.
  32. Along the way, Minimidi, writing in his log book, coined many of the local place names that are still in use today.
  33. [C:] Allegro pizzicato. E pluribus unum. Michelangelo. Mike Johnson. Fremont? No, itís no good. You canít do that. WellÖmaybe.
  34. It was not long before the men encountered one of the regionís most familiar local inhabitants.
  35. [C:] Thatís a dog. Thatís a horse. Thatís a bird. Thatís a billy goat.
  36. But it wasnít any of those.
  37. [C:] Smelts? Smoked whitefish? Herring. Anchovies!
  38. Thatís closer, but actually it was the squimp, the most important food fish of the Dummish Indians.
  39. [C:] Theyíre packed in like a bunch of sardines.
  40. No, no, really, theyíre very good.
  41. [C:] All right, then letís have a fire. Of course I like them a little bigger. We could dump Ďem in the alley.
  42. The men were able to subsist on a diet of squimp and sauteed fennel until they managed to reach the first clear sign of humanity they had seen since leaving the outpost, maybe even longer. This historic meeting took place at the site that today is occupied by the Dexton Horter Building.
  43. [C:] You wouldnít want to stop there, boss, thatís the worst schlockhouse on Second Avenue.
  44. Shut up! Youíre dead, remember?
  45. [C:] Thatís what you think, you little quack.
  46. I love learning all this stuff, donít you?

8. I know something I wonít tell


  1. (The Microsoft Sound)
  2. (Forest birds)
  3. (Repeat of 03-03, Camera sequence)
  4. Mustnít have any funÖmust concentrate on getting great shotsÖthink about market segmentÖitís no useÖbeauty of nature taking overÖgettingÖweakerÖ
  5. Youíve an excellent opportunity over there in that aldrona tree just now.
  6. Hm? Where?
  7. Right there at 22 Ĺ degrees to your left. That plaid-breasted doppelganger there on the branch. Shoot it, man, before it goes away!
  8. Do I know you?
  9. No, no, Iím just another guest at the hotel. Like you, I was in the museum just now, and I had to get out of there as soon as I heard that one man talking. I had assumed youíd heard it too.
  10. (Repeat of 03-03, Camera sequence)
  11. No, Iím afraid I didnít notice.
  12. It was the chap in the red shirt. You must have seen him.
  13. Oh yeah, I saw him briefly on the train over here, I think.
  14. Apparently heís a scientist, here to do research in an area off limits to tourists. I donít think heís very experienced, though, or cautious. I heard him say he had a container of phoniwarium right there on his person.
  15. Uh-huh. Phoniwarium, right.
  16. Well, even I know what that is, but Iím not sure he does. No one should be carrying that kind of thing around where unsuspecting people might be exposed to it. Who knows what kind of accident he could have. Iím staying as far away from him as I can. I think the manís dangerous.
  17. Thanks for the advice. I need to head over to the gift shop now, if you donít mind.
  18. Yes, of course. Sorry to have talked your ear off. I just thought it was peculiar.
  19. Iíll keep it in mind, thanks.

9. Not while Iím eating


  1. (Windows Logon Sound)
  2. (Cafeteria)
  3. AhhÖ Did you see any salt when you were up there?
  4. Yeah, here.
  5. What was it you were saying you wanted to do tomorrow?
  6. Thereís an aerial tour Iíd love to take. They fly you all around the park in a helicopter.
  7. Oh, I could never do that. If you want to, go ahead, but I think Iíll just stay nearby, if thatís OK.
  8. As long as you donít mind.
  9. No, I donít mind. Have you figured out yet whatís the one thing you forgot to bring?
  10. No, I havenít really needed anything yet. I wonít know what it is until I need it.
  11. (Repeat of 02-009, Loading film)
  12. (Repeat of 02-014, Western Sky)
  13. Letís seeÖthis is roll number six.
  14. Thereís that same guy again, over at that table. I can recognize him from the back. The guy who was in front of us in the ferry line. Remember how you couldnít figure out what he was doing when he was in the car?
  15. Yeah?
  16. I think I figured it out, because heís doing it again. He was loading film into his camera.
  17. OK, that makes sense now. Do you think he might have been the person who lost that mysterious thing you found? It was in a film canister, wasnít it?
  18. It could have been him, I guess.
  19. Well, why donít you go ask him if itís his? Or would you feel funny doing that.
  20. No, thatís a good idea.
  21. He looks like heís getting ready to leave.
  22. Um, sir? Excuse me.
  23. Hm? Oh!
  24. I found something that Iíve been carrying around with me. I wonder if youÖ
  25. Aah! Sorry, Iím really in a hurry, gotta go!
  26. (Gulp)
  27. (Zip)
  28. Whatís the matter with him?
  29. What happened just now? Was he being rude, or what?
  30. I donít know. In fact I donít even know why Iím still carrying this thing around with me. I had finally succeeded in forgetting about it.
  31. Maybe we could go back to the room after weíre done here. I really wonít feel like doing much until tomorrow.
  32. Thatís fine.

10. Settle, settle


  1. (Repeat of 02-021, Pursuit)
  2. (Repeat of 02-022, Dialing phone)
  3. Stupid menus. Ö Hello. Yes, everyoneís gone back to their rooms. I suspect no one will be out and about much until tomorrow. Iíve kept pretty close watch, though, and hereís what I knowÖ
  4. (Repeat of 02-014, Western Sky)
  5. I really need to turn in early tonight and hold off shooting until tomorrow. What time is sunrise?
  6. (Repeat of 02-065, Bridge scanner)
  7. Ugh. That early. Someday Iíll make it a point to travel west.
  8. Where did you say we are exactly?
  9. (Unfolding map) Weíre here near the southwest entrance. Right here is where we just came from, and this is where Iíd like to walk over to tomorrow afternoon. Youíre sure you donít want to go?
  10. (Moving away) Oh, Iíll come by to see you off, at least. (Opening drawers, etc.) Could we have the TV back on?
  11. Yeah.
  12. (Repeat of 06-26, TV turned on)
  13. (Repeat of 06-27, Sleep Country commercial)
  14. In a little while I can wander into the village and get some groceries to bring back here.
  15. Make sure you use the purple card.
  16. Purple? Do I have that card with me? What do you want to bet thatís the thing I forgotÖ (Emptying wallet) No, here it is.
  17. (Production music)
  18. Weíll be right back to our sponsor after this brief message from our feature.
  19. So far, Iíve had everything I needed.
  20. (Novak)
  21. I think I see him. Yup, yup, heís returned. This time heís got a rope.
  22. I can always watch this movie.
  23. I bet I know what heís got that rope for. Heís involved in the kidnaping. Wait, heís putting it down now. No, no, heís putting it on the top shelf. Way up high. I canít look there, itís too high.
  24. (Off mike) Didnít we see this not too long ago?
  25. Yeah, but I never get tired of it.
  26. Now wait a minute. A womanís entered the room. No, it canít be. That woman is supposed to be dead. She was killed during the Albert Hall concert. Or was she?
  27. Look at that direction. This scene always gets to me.
  28. And whoís that bald guy over there winding the clock?
  29. (Off mike) Honey, whatís happening? Who is he talking to about a woman?
  30. (Choking up) I donít know, I just love it, the editing, the camera angles, the mise-en-sceneÖ
  31. If only this werenít a disposable camera, I could see better.
  32. (Off mike) Where are we in the plot?
  33. (Crying) I donít know.

11. Unsold pilot


  1. (100-01A_026K)
  2. (Repeat of 08-02, Forest birds)
  3. AahhhÖsmell that fresh air. A perfect morning for burning up some gasoline.
  4. You donít mind that Iím not going up with you, do you?
  5. Not if you donít mind that Iím going.
  6. Oh, Iím sure itís perfectly safe, Iím just being silly.
  7. Good morning, welcome. I guess they told you inside that we have only one other person signed up for this flight.
  8. Yeah.
  9. So if that other passenger also gets here early, we wonít need to wait around. In fact, I think I see someone right now checking in over there.
  10. Can I go ahead and sit inside the copter?
  11. Thatís what Iím about to do.
  12. Have fun. Iíll be here when you get back.
  13. (Copter interior)
  14. Well, this is exciting, Iíve never done this before.
  15. Weíll be taking off in just a sec. The other guyís on his way.
  16. Sounds good.
  17. (Unfolding map) So weíre here, and weíll be flying in this direction to startÖhm hmÖ
  18. Good morning. Hop on in.
  19. (Repeat of 02-014, Western Sky)
  20. All right. No waiting.
  21. Now, the first thing youíll notice as we begin to pull away from the airfield is the difference in height between the trees nearby and the ones farther away.
  22. Uh-huh.
  23. Those trees nearby, those are called saplings. They grow all over the United States, although the ones Iíve seen on the East Coast look a little different.
  24. InterestingÖ (writing) Thatíll make good source infoÖ
  25. (Inside control station)
  26. Excuse me, my husband is up there taking the tour just now. Is it OK if I just wait inside here until he gets back?
  27. (Repeat of 02-021, Pursuit)
  28. Yes, perfectly all right.
  29. Youíre sure all this is safe.
  30. Nothing to worry about, madam. Iím in communication with the aircraft. In the unlikely event that anything untoward should happen, I know this whole park and can help get them down safely no matter where they are.
  31. (Repeat of 13, in flight)
  32. (Repeat of 03-03, Camera sequence)
  33. And over on the right, youíll see that weíre approaching some green stuff right next to the brown stuff down there.
  34. Hm.
  35. Iím sorry, I never said hello to my fellow passenger back there, hidden behind the map. There is someone back there, isnít there?
  36. (Lowering map) Yes, pleased toó
  37. Aahh! Not you again.
  38. Oh, itís you. You know, I think youíve got me confused with somebody else.
  39. I donít think so.
  40. I stopped you there in the cafeteria because I noticed you were a photographer and I had something I was hoping you might look at.
  41. Suppose you tell me about it first.
  42. Well, thatís just it, itís not really something I can explain, I have to just show it to you. Here, Iíve got it on meÖ
  43. (45-04_259K)
  44. Donít open that up here, you fool!
  45. Are we having a problem?
  46. No, really, you donít understand. Look, itís nothing to beÖ
  47. Donít OPEN IT!!
  48. Let go of me!
  49. Hey, stop, youíll make me lose control!
  50. (Flyby)
  51. (Repeat of 13, interior)
  52. ("Ah"ís of fright)
  53. All right, all right! See, Iím putting it away. Good grief! What did you think I was going to do?
  54. Do you even know what it is youíve got in there?
  55. No, thatís the wholeó
  56. I thought so. Then that guy was right, you donít know what youíre doing.
  57. What guy?
  58. That English guy outside the museum. He said youíve got phoniwarium in there.
  59. Phoniwarium!
  60. Youíre liable to wipe out the whole park.
  61. All right, Iím taking us out over the ocean.
  62. No, please donít, because this is stupid. If youíre talking about the same English guy I met, that might explain why he disappeared so suddenly on the train.
  63. Then itís true, you are some sort of crackpot scientist.
  64. Me? No! I mean, I donít know what Iím carrying, but I know itís not that.
  65. I donít know who to believe now.
  66. Me neither.
  67. Look, Iíll show you my ID from work. Thatíll prove what I am. We can clear this all up real simple. Iíve got it right here, I knowÖwait, no, I must have put it in hereÖor maybe in this other pocketÖ
  68. Enough of that.
  69. Wha--?
  70. Lay off the pockets. I donít trust you just yet.
  71. My card. Thatís it! Thatís the one thing I forgot to bring that I knew I would need.
  72. How about that.
  73. Well, look, youíre a photographer. You must have heard of Getall. Itís the biggest photo collection there is. Thatís where I work.
  74. How do I know this?
  75. Just call them and ask for me.
  76. The cell phone wonít work up here.
  77. We just acquired the Pixlix collection. We represent them now. It just happened in the last week.
  78. Pixlix!
  79. Yes.
  80. Iím with Pixlix. I shoot for them.
  81. Well, there you go. Thereís no way I would know that if I didnít work there.
  82. What do you do there?
  83. Well, one of the things I do is write and edit some of the captions that go with the photos.
  84. You edit the captions?
  85. SometimesÖakhh!
  86. Hey, let go of his throat!
  87. (Flyby)
  88. (Repeat of 26, Control station)
  89. Are you tracking their position right now? Is that whatís on that screen youíre looking at?
  90. Oh, that? No, thatís the Windows screen saver. Iím looking over here. I see that theyíre deviating from the normal flight path.
  91. What do you mean?
  92. Yes, this doesnít look good at all.
  93. Whaówhat are you saying?
  94. No cause for alarm. Iíll tell you when there is.
  95. Butó
  96. (Repeat of 02-61, Buttons on bridge)
  97. Good morning, helicopter flier person.
  98. (Repeat of 13, Copter interior)
  99. (Filtered Ė 750Hz highpass) Anything youíd care to share with us about your little escapades up there?
  100. Weíve had a bit of a false start, but I think weíre all right now.
  101. Yes, well, weíve been entertaining some doubts about that, donít you know.
  102. Hey, do you hear that voice?
  103. Thatís the guy.
  104. Itís the same guy I was talking about.
  105. What is going on here? Who is that on the radio? I donít know you, although both of these guys seem to.
  106. I assure you Iím quite well trained.
  107. Thatís what Iím afraid of. In case you all havenít noticed, Iíve turned us around and am returning to the base. This tour is officially over.
  108. What took you so long?
  109. I was going to ask the same thing.
  110. You read my mind.
  111. That guyíd better not be going anywhere. I am going to get to the bottom of this.
  112. Yes, thatís a capital notion. Why donít we all get together and have a lovely chat.
  113. (Copter landing)
  114. (Jumping out and walking away)
  115. (Shaken up but relieved) I think I can see everything I need to see from down here.
  116. I didnít really need to shoot any aerials; the files are already saturated.
  117. Look! Thatís him coming out of the control station. And my wife is with him.
  118. (Jumping out)
  119. Iíve never seen that guy before in my life.
  120. (Approaching) Well, well, welcome back. So glad you all could make it.
  121. What just happened?
  122. What is this all about? Who are you?
  123. I believe this gentleman here has something we need.
  124. Me?
  125. Whoís we?
  126. And this other gentleman may not know it, but he once had it too.
  127. Say what?
  128. Would you both kindly put your hands up, please?
  129. (Locking & loading)
  130. Hey, what is this?
  131. What are you doing?
  132. Youíre both under arrest.
  133. Where did those guys come from?
  134. What did I get myself into?
  135. Keep them up, please, this wonít take long. Iím just going to reach into your pocket now.
  136. Thereís nothing in there but my pill box.
  137. Yes, I know. Very clever of you to transfer it to another container. This what you mean?
  138. All thatís got in it isÖwell, I donít know what it is. Itís that thing I found.
  139. Yes, I know.
  140. You mean that little gizwiz he picked up on the ferry?
  141. Iím sure itís little to you, but we take it rather seriously.
  142. I thought that was the phoniwarium you told me he had.
  143. Youíre hallucinating, dear boy, I told you nothing of the kind. Now letís just see if everything is still here, shall we? (Opening box) WhatÖwhat is this?
  144. Hey, thatís my cufflink!
  145. Your what?
  146. So thatís what that is.
  147. Aócufflink?
  148. Yeah, I just ordered a pair of those from the McCuffiní mail order catalog. They got separated, and when I found one in my camera bag, I put it in a canister for safekeeping.
  149. I thought it looked kind of like one of those, in a weird way.
  150. We called off the tour for that?
  151. I donít believe you. This is just a clever ruse.
  152. Oh, please. Do they look smart enough to do that?
  153. But wait. How come when I tried to turn it in to lost and found, they told me you didnít want it?
  154. Who told you that?
  155. They told you what they thought you were expecting to hear. You donít know it, but I think you may have foiled the entire plot.
  156. What plot?
  157. What did you think was in there?
  158. We thought you had the ferry systemís coffers in there.
  159. Coffers?
  160. Yes, we thought you had made off with our entire budget for the season.
  161. The ferry budget?
  162. Itís easy to do.
  163. Well, that explains the condition of the flagpole.
  164. You mean this was all a mixup?
  165. Yes, I guess the jokeís on us, isnít it? Looks like weíll all be able to get home tonight.
  166. (Laughing) Oh, thatís funny!
  167. (Laughing) You mean you thoughtÖ
  168. (Laughing) Silly meÖ
  169. (Laughing) It was my cufflink!
  170. (Laughing) Oh, thatís a good one!

12. Paris match


  1. ("Mr. Hulotís Holiday" ending)
  2. Well, this was quite an exciting vacation, wasnít it? I had a good time.
  3. Me, too. ["Ambrasi"]
  4. I was able to finish my book, we made a couple of new friendsÖ
  5. We learned a few things. ["Ah. Mr. Hulot. I'm going."]
  6. Huh? ["I've had such a good time. Goodbye. Bye. Bye."]
  7. Did we ever meet that lady?
  8. No. ["I'm coming next year. You too? Goodbye. Bye, Goodbye. Mr. Hulot, do come and see us... Goodbye. Au revoir. Bon voyage. (etc.) Henry, come along."]
  9. People sure are polite in this part of the country.
  10. Well, they havenít met us before.
  11. Itíll be good to get back home, though.
  12. Yes, itíll just be us there. ["Goodbye. Glad to meet you."]
  13. Did I get my pill box back?
  14. I think so.
  15. Itís empty, anyway. ["Goodbye. See you again, eh? Henry!"]
  16. You donít mind, do you, that I rented a car to take us back to our own car?
  17. (Putting luggage in trunk)
  18. No, Iím all for it.
  19. After everything thatís happened, I donít want to take any chances with the train. Who knows who weíd meet.
  20. I agree completely.
  21. (Repeat of 02-027, Getting into car)
  22. So weíll just drive back. Itís safer that way.
  23. I donít feel safe going anywhere with anyone but you.
  24. Me, too. Do we have everything?
  25. Yeah, letís get out of here. [Hulotís car & end music]


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