Be Nice to Your Carts (1975)

From the musical "Bulbous!"

MIDI file

[Station manager:]
In the DJ game, we have a means
Of embellishing the blurbs we blab;
We record a sound effect or two
Apropos to our own gift of gab.
And when in a spiel we say what we feel
Inspires a comment from the tape,
We push this little button here
And commit semantic rape.
Be nice to your carts:
They express what you're feeling
And are sometimes appealing.

In the many moons I've been on air
I've become dependent on my pets;
If ever one freaked out on me,
I could never hide my deep regrets.
For I would be lost if ever I crossed
My ad-lib with a technical dud;
The tape would not reveal the gag
And my name would be Scott Mud.
So be nice to your carts:
They don't take to mistreating;
Never give them a beating.

[Main character:]
Now I've used a cart or two —

[Station manager:]
But I've got much more than you.

[Main character:]
Do you think I should expand?
Would it help the way my —

[Station manager:]
Well, it couldn't hurt;
You at least will keep your shirt.

[Main character:]
Good enough for me.
Then I guess I must agree —

[Both:]
Be nice to your carts!
Carts...

 

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